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Wedding Etiquette Rules You Should Know
Friday, 17 February 2017 - 17:39 | Views - 890
Wedding season: a time of laughter, love, tears and a whole lot of confusing rules and expectations.

A lot of people are going to weddings as full-fledged adult guests for the first time.

Fun times! But while it’s pretty easy to be a good wedding guest (and only slightly harder to be a great wedding guest), it’s also incredibly easy to be an annoying one.

And you often don’t know the difference until you — or one of your siblings or closest friends  have planned a wedding and seen the missteps firsthand.

Both of us can attest to doing some of the “wrong” things in our early twenties and seriously cringing about it now.

But we just genuinely didn’t know better!


1. What about my kid and/or other family members? Can I bring them?

If the envelope includes your kids’ names or “and family” or something of that sort, then yes.

But if you can’t or don’t want to leave your family behind, then it’s OK to RSVP no.

A wedding invitation isn’t a jury summons, and in this case, there’s no need to abandon your love ones to serve.


2. You mean I can actually just…not go?

Correct — you can simply RSVP no. And you don’t have to write in your excuse on the invitation either.

If it’s a really close friend, you could send them an email and let them know why you won’t be able to make it, but you don’t have to.


3. Ugh, I said I could go, but I don’t know if I can anymore. Can I just bail?

If you RSVP, yes, you actually have to go to the thing. That is, of course, unless something really major comes up, which may make you wonder…?


4. Times are tough. Do I *have* to give a gift?

Hey, you know, sometimes it just…can’t happen. No, you don’t have to give a gift. But you should definitely bring a card.

If you really care about the person getting married (like if you’re in the wedding party), take the time to write them a heartfelt letter.

No ifs, ands, or buts.


5. I feel like weddings never start on time. Is it OK to show up a few minutes late?

No. Please, no. In fact, give yourself 10 more minutes to get to the ceremony than you think you need.

(Kind of a good life rule to live by, too.)


6. Do I need to write a speech?

Good news! Unless you’re the maid of honor, best man, father of the bride, or were specifically asked to give a speech, you’re not expected to (and shouldn’t, TBH) give a toast.

Some couples invite all guests to stand up and say some words if they want to, but that’s an exception to the rule.


7. After all of this, I need a drink. How drunk can I get at a wedding, really?

The good thing is, many weddings have an open bar, so you’re free to get pretty drunk.

It’s a celebration! If you’re worried you may start teetering too close to the edge of serenading the couple or crying anything other than happy tears, though, please…don’t.
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